First of all I'm not going to claim to be an expert at all in this area, but I have reflected recently what has helped our family emotionally prepare.
1. Testimony. By far the thing that I think has helped us in this area is our testimonies. Because we know that we have a Savior that loves us and a loving Heavenly Father with a plan we know that sharing this knowledge is a great way to spend a few months of our lives. 2. Separate: The next thing that I think is most important is sending our children off to things and sending us off to things. From the time they were little we were okay to be apart. Not that we didn't rejoice when the person who was gone returned, but we knew we were okay. This was a baby step process.
3. Technology. Enjoy the new communication methods! With that being said our lives don't revolve solely around that. We don't sit waiting for that call, or that e-mail. Do we look forward to it? Absolutely! However, when my first daughter's e-mail wouldn't come until late in the day I was happy for her because that usually meant that they got to do something fun for P-day that day that was out of the ordinary. They both knew that I would never want them to sacrifice an experience in order to chat. An e-mail from them was good. 4. Change Your Mindset. Rejoice in their experiences. Instead of dwelling on what I miss about them not being here, I think more of what they are getting to do. Who they are helping? What lives they are changing, including their own? Do I miss my talks with them at 2 am? Absolutely! But it would be selfish of me to hold them back and to keep them from teaching others. 5. Live. Live your life and be your best self. They are growing so I figure I should try to grow too. My daughter asked if we were going to Disneyland without her and we said yes. She went to Disneyland, Disneyland Tokyo, and Disney World without us! 6. Independence. Let them make their own decisions and understand consequences. About the time our children turned 16 they stopped asking for permission to go places and we started asking what their plan was. We did this on purpose so that they could get used to managing more of their decisions. This didn't mean that we didn't voice our opinion if we felt cautionary words were needed. By the time they were Seniors they were pretty good at managing their lives, including stressful days, and part of that was knowing that we were there if they needed advice. We also taught them to pray for their own answers and then we supported what they felt. For the mission field they still have us, but they also have a companion, a Mission President, and their Heavenly Father. 7. Rejection. Both of our daughters are performers. Both went to many auditions and in that audition process you learn to deal with rejection, with accepting what role is offered to you, and how to accept constructive criticism. Hear the notes, apply the notes, make yourself a better you. Our son played some sports and entered some art contests so he also learned this lesson. 8. Hover Parent? What can I say, this is not me. Not that the mama bear doesn't come out at some points. Not that I'm not aware of what my children are doing and will stop them IF needed. However, I do teach them to run their lives, advocate for themselves, and deal with those day to day problems that come up. For instance once they hit High School I expect them to take care of most of their things for school. In fact for the first SEP/Parent Teacher Conferences I send an e-mail to their teachers letting them know I can be reached by e-mail, but I expect my children to talk to their teachers. My son recently decided to change schools. He likes his school, but he found an activity that he is really good at and there are more opportunities with that in his new school. Other than us signing him in and out, he took care of it all. He talked to the teachers he was leaving because he really does like them and appreciate what they have taught him. (I'm not a total uninvolved parent - I do volunteer to bring food for rehearsal/practice nights and things like that :) 9. Responsibility. Our children had chores that did not have an allowance attached to it. They also helped raise money for most of their extra-curricular trips. They also got jobs as soon as they turned 16. During the school year they didn't work a lot of hours each week, but enough that they learned how to juggle job, school, church, and social. They also were always a part of a team, or a cast and these groups depended on their commitment. 10. Cry. Just so you know I did cry when both girl's left. I do tear up occasionally when something reminds me of them, but then I try to think about how they are growing and I find something to do. So cry but then move on :) Anyway for what it's worth this is how I think we have emotionally prepared ourselves for missions.
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She Found Her Main Squeeze! That was the theme. Mainly because my kitchen is decorated with lemonade stuff so we had to bring in very little for decorations.
What fun we had! We set up the dessert table with white and yellow tablecloths, plates, etc. Then I used the items from my kitchen for additional decorations. We also had a tripod chalkboard with the theme written on it outside. So this was super simple. Food:
The coolest parts was our lemonade bar area. We had regular lemonade and then we had syrups that they could add into their cup of lemonade. It was a hit. It was an open house style with mainly visiting, advice, and food, but we did open gifts and we did have a video of pictures playing. We also did the game where they asked Jesse questions and filmed his answers to see how many Ashly would get right. They also had a hashtag contest for their wedding page. We had a SUPER SUPER busy summer and our event was up the mountain so logistically a bit more of a challenge.
Okay so here are a few tips that made our wedding event planning easier: #1 know your child. I knew Ashly had a very clear vision of what she wanted so I helped her get as close to that as we could. Keeping these in mind there were never really any arguments. Prepping:
Set-Up
Feed Your Wedding Party Too many times the bridal party doesn't get to eat the day of, or even the day before if you are setting up the day before. See my post that tells how we fixed this. Packing Up After Note we couldn't do this because we ran out of time because of some glitches, but ideally I would have had the boxes and totes ready and tagged for each area so that it was easier for helpers to help. We had soooo much help that we just said put anything where you can, which caused more work for after and wasn't ideal for transporting. Last - go with the flow! Things will glitch, work the problem the best you can, then move on. For us this time it was all about using up what was left from the reception. So that is where we based our planning of the menu from, and the fast that she was going to South America. Here is what we did to easily feed 80 people:
Nacho Bar:
For everything above we didn't have large containers so that we wouldn't have to figure out how to keep it chilled. It was easy to dump more into the containers as needed because almost all of it was in bags, or jars. The following two areas is where we really used leftovers from the reception 2 weeks earlier. Drinks This was something that we did at Ashly's bridal shower. Flavored Lemonade Using:
S'mores - using sternos, sterno wire holders, and wooden skewers. Because of space constraints inside this was outside so the chocolate and marshmallows were in a cooler with ice. We used square appetizer plates that matched the ice cream cups. Then my family brought cut up fruit - thanks bunches to them!: 2 watermelons 2 canteloupes 1 pineapple some grapes Decorations - super simple: We like to use the food as the main decoration so we use boxes to make different levels and then we put a white plastic tablecloth underneath and another one over the boxes. Then we bought the silver containers that you can get at the Dollar Store in the wedding section. That with the bright food made a pretty line. (My husband made me a moveable island last year with beautiful cedar on the sides so the white tablecloths with the cedar looked great!) On the drink table we used a baby blue plastic tablecloth to contrast with the lemonade and it is the main color of the Argentinian flag. We hung up the Argentinian flag, a Called To Serve banner we made, and a couple of the pom pom and other garlands in baby blue and yellow because they are the main colors on the flag. We just bought these at the Dollar Store. Have you ever been a part of a wedding and spent a good chunk of the day hungry? Not that there isn't good food around, you just don't end up getting to have very much, if any. Well, my daughter got married this past weekend and I figured we needed to make sure we all enjoyed the weekend and didn't get hangry. It was actually very easy and very cheap.
Her reception was on mountain property about 45 minutes from our house. It was at our friend's cabin and so we needed to pretty much take everything up, since it's not an event venue. So we started this journey early Friday afternoon. To help the set-up crew's stamina and morale I had washed and wrapped some potatoes and as soon as we arrived I popped them into the oven. 2 hours later, I pulled out a can of chili and a can of cheese sauce and heated them up, set out sour cream, bacon bits, butter, and salt and some rolls and we had food. It was super worth the time and effort and gave us the energy to finish out the last hour. The next day her wedding was at 8 am and then we had a fantastic luncheon at 11 am, however by the time we got up the mountain again at 2:00 and had set up for another 2 hours we were all hungry again. So at 4:00 I put some pre-made meatballs into the oven. 30 minutes later we opened up a bag of chips, sliced some watermelon, and we were all full and ready for the 3 hour reception and the clean-up after! I would highly recommend this to all doing a wedding. |
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June 2022
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