First of all I'm not going to claim to be an expert at all in this area, but I have reflected recently what has helped our family emotionally prepare.
1. Testimony. By far the thing that I think has helped us in this area is our testimonies. Because we know that we have a Savior that loves us and a loving Heavenly Father with a plan we know that sharing this knowledge is a great way to spend a few months of our lives. 2. Separate: The next thing that I think is most important is sending our children off to things and sending us off to things. From the time they were little we were okay to be apart. Not that we didn't rejoice when the person who was gone returned, but we knew we were okay. This was a baby step process.
3. Technology. Enjoy the new communication methods! With that being said our lives don't revolve solely around that. We don't sit waiting for that call, or that e-mail. Do we look forward to it? Absolutely! However, when my first daughter's e-mail wouldn't come until late in the day I was happy for her because that usually meant that they got to do something fun for P-day that day that was out of the ordinary. They both knew that I would never want them to sacrifice an experience in order to chat. An e-mail from them was good. 4. Change Your Mindset. Rejoice in their experiences. Instead of dwelling on what I miss about them not being here, I think more of what they are getting to do. Who they are helping? What lives they are changing, including their own? Do I miss my talks with them at 2 am? Absolutely! But it would be selfish of me to hold them back and to keep them from teaching others. 5. Live. Live your life and be your best self. They are growing so I figure I should try to grow too. My daughter asked if we were going to Disneyland without her and we said yes. She went to Disneyland, Disneyland Tokyo, and Disney World without us! 6. Independence. Let them make their own decisions and understand consequences. About the time our children turned 16 they stopped asking for permission to go places and we started asking what their plan was. We did this on purpose so that they could get used to managing more of their decisions. This didn't mean that we didn't voice our opinion if we felt cautionary words were needed. By the time they were Seniors they were pretty good at managing their lives, including stressful days, and part of that was knowing that we were there if they needed advice. We also taught them to pray for their own answers and then we supported what they felt. For the mission field they still have us, but they also have a companion, a Mission President, and their Heavenly Father. 7. Rejection. Both of our daughters are performers. Both went to many auditions and in that audition process you learn to deal with rejection, with accepting what role is offered to you, and how to accept constructive criticism. Hear the notes, apply the notes, make yourself a better you. Our son played some sports and entered some art contests so he also learned this lesson. 8. Hover Parent? What can I say, this is not me. Not that the mama bear doesn't come out at some points. Not that I'm not aware of what my children are doing and will stop them IF needed. However, I do teach them to run their lives, advocate for themselves, and deal with those day to day problems that come up. For instance once they hit High School I expect them to take care of most of their things for school. In fact for the first SEP/Parent Teacher Conferences I send an e-mail to their teachers letting them know I can be reached by e-mail, but I expect my children to talk to their teachers. My son recently decided to change schools. He likes his school, but he found an activity that he is really good at and there are more opportunities with that in his new school. Other than us signing him in and out, he took care of it all. He talked to the teachers he was leaving because he really does like them and appreciate what they have taught him. (I'm not a total uninvolved parent - I do volunteer to bring food for rehearsal/practice nights and things like that :) 9. Responsibility. Our children had chores that did not have an allowance attached to it. They also helped raise money for most of their extra-curricular trips. They also got jobs as soon as they turned 16. During the school year they didn't work a lot of hours each week, but enough that they learned how to juggle job, school, church, and social. They also were always a part of a team, or a cast and these groups depended on their commitment. 10. Cry. Just so you know I did cry when both girl's left. I do tear up occasionally when something reminds me of them, but then I try to think about how they are growing and I find something to do. So cry but then move on :) Anyway for what it's worth this is how I think we have emotionally prepared ourselves for missions.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorA mom trying her best to make the most out of things on a budget and time constraints. Archives
June 2022
Categories |